Much Ado About Chicago And Tinubu’s Certificates By Bolanle Bolawole

The last few weeks have been taken over by the controversy over President Bola Ahmed Tinubu and his certificates. Did he or did he not attend school? If so, which schools, when, where and how? Did he or did he not have certificates? If so, what certificate, when and which school or schools? How did he attend school: As a man or as a woman? Did he pose as a hermaphrodite to gain admission into college in the United States of America? Did he gain admission to college with “ori olori” and “ese elese”, as they say? Were his certificates forged? By him or by who? Did he submit a forged certificate to the INEC to contest the February 25, 2023 presidential election?

The questions were endless but the most embarrassing aspect of the whole controversy was that Nigeria’s dirty linen was not only washed in the public, it was also spread out in the open for the whole world to see. And to think that the whole controversy raged in the United States of America courts at the same time that President Tinubu had to make his first appearance at the United Nations General Assembly as Nigeria’s numero uno! Former Vice-President Atiku Abubakar spared no efforts to strip the President naked for the whole world to behold not just the nakedness of Tinubu as a person but of Nigeria as a country! While it lies within the legal rights of Atiku to take the tussle to the wires – and no one should grudge him that – can he please learn a thing or two from the apostle Paul when he says in 1 Corinthians 10:23 that “all things are lawful for me but not all things are expedient: all things are lawful for me but all things edify not” I dare to say that Atiku’s Chicago pursuit, though lawful, edifies not!

The end result of Atiku’s US court adventure left me more confused than when it all started. Who won – Atiku or Tinubu? With both parties claiming victory, I am confused! Our elders say two people cannot be oblivious when a lie is being told: If the person being conned is oblivious of it, the con man sure knows he is conning someone! But in this case, Atiku claims victory; Tinubu also claims victory. Reading the deposition by Chicago State University left me perplexed. There was something in it for Atiku; there was also something in it for Tinubu.

Atiku’s voyage to Chicago was a wild goose chase; it was akin to a man leaving Lagos and heading for Sokoto in search of what is in his “sokoto” pockets! Prove that you scored more votes than everyone else in the presidential election; prove that you won at least twelve two-thirds of the 37 states (Abuja being the 37th); not that someone is not morally upright. Are the challengers themselves morally upright? Are they not confirmed tax evaders, artful dodgers and treasury looters? Are they not the pot calling the kettle black? And is it not said that he that comes to equity must come with clean hands? Are their own hands clean? In all of these, that has been my utmost worry. Why should I line up behind one thief to condemn another thief?

Some of the interesting, even intriguing, courses we took in the university are: morality and politics; morality and law; morality and religion, etc. The debate is yet to abate. Assuming but not conceding that Tinubu is disqualified, can Atiku or Obi be declared the outright winner of the February 25, 2023 presidential election? They cannot because they did not measure up! The best – or worst – that can be done – but again not conceding – is to disqualify Tinubu and order a rerun between Atiku and Obi! Are you laughing! It surely calls for laughter! How will Tinubu’s supporters react? Will the country survive the tsunami that will ensue? It’s best to let sleeping dogs lie!

Smart Atiku! With his Chicago pursuit, he is already ahead of the other challengers in his preparation for 2027. That is what his Chicago adventure is all about. He is running ahead of Obi and Rabiu Kwankwaso already. Shine your eyes! Little wonder that he is trying to use Chicago to rally Obi, Kwankwaso and other Nigerians behind him towards the next election in 2027, I suspect. Obi appears not ready to fall for it! He has told Atiku: On Chicago, you are on your own! Cunny man die, cunny man bury am!

We fight over certificates when the same colonialists that introduced certificates to us have since moved away from its stranglehold. What matters to them these days is your capacity and capabilities – what you can do and not the lorry-load of certificates that you have on display. If certificates equate to competence, why did Goodluck Jonathan, a Ph. D. holder, mess up so spectacularly? Here, colonialism has yielded its place to a more vicious neo-colonialism. We have been brain-washed. We have been colonized in our thoughts and processes – in our education, religion, tastes (for all things foreign); culture, system of government; name it! We now also cringe before and beg a foreign country to play the joker in our presidential contest!

Former Editor of PUNCH newspapers, Chairman of its Editorial Board and Deputy Editor-in-chief, BOLAWOLE was also the Managing Director/ Editor-in-chief of THE WESTERNER newsmagazine. He writes the ON THE LORD’S DAY column in the Sunday Tribune and TREASURES column in New Telegraph newspaper on Wednesdays. He is also a public affairs analyst on radio and television.