COLUMN: THE SARAKISTAN COOKIE, BY TUNJI SULEIMAN

“In the place that I call Sarakistan, there are those who believe that the scion of the political dynasty and current hegemon’s having no local tap roots and therefore no feeling for the people or stakes beyond that of a buccaneer is the reason why he feels no compunction in looting the place dry. I wonder what, if any, his multiple citizenships have to do with his famed rapacity for the Nigerian commonwealth. It has always been my contention that people that hold dual/multiple citizenships should not hold high public office at certain levels, most especially the highest office. For strategic national interests. There’s something sinister about occupying high public office in one country and holding citizenships and allegiances to other nations. But more on this later.

Trust people to dig things up. We are learning that the overlord’s great grandfather was from Siera Leone or thereabouts and used to come and consult the Alfas in Agbaji for ‘adua’ (prayers) and/or ‘aajo’ (talisman). That his grandfather was born during his own father’s itineracy in Yorubaland as a Kolanut merchant. And that his father, founder of the dynasty, adopted a suburb of the main town for his own political interests around 1964 and had become the political godfather by 1977.

Those from the city of the Iron Sharpener have township and country and ancestral home and farmland in the surrounding area. When they want to drive home the point of the foreignness of their oppressor, they ask you to show them his ancestral and village home or farm and/or point to his local extended family. The anger is growing and building up. It is so palpable one can almost hold it. One refrain urges the people to “drive out the Atohunrinwa and his Omo Ale collaborators”. Atohunrinwa is one that walked over from yonder. and Omo Ale is a bastard. They say it is because he’s not one of them that he can be so selfish to do them so much ‘jamba’. The person they asked to blow their eyes put pepper in his mouth, the one they asked to rub their back had thorns in his hands. And the bastards that work for him sell everyone else short because of ‘aimokan’ (ignorance), ‘ago’ (gullibility) and ‘atenuje’, (sycophancy) and ‘munafiki’ (hypocrisy).

Now this is a terrible combination, the worst situation a people can find themselves in. When a stranger takes over the affairs of a people, the result can be good or bad. But this one is suffering, hues and cries. That’s bad. Add the treachery of ‘Omo ale’. The house that is calm is one in which the bastard is yet to come of age. Then add the induced ‘osi’ and/or ‘ise’ (poverty) and you get a picture of how a dynasty of foreign-born pretenders and oppressors has lorded it for 40 years over a people until now that some are doing more than wail and wring their hands in frustration and resignation.

The hegemon knows what he is doing – pauperize the people and keep them in servitude in perpetuity. Then feed a select few with crumbs and keep them dependent. The others can fast and pray or starve. They will shout ‘Leader’ and follow you. Reads like what Joseph Stalin was reported to have demonstrated with the naked and hungry chicken to his politburo colleagues in the former USSR. He it was that plucked the feathers and he it was that fed it corn in a trail from the steps to a seat in the chamber. But he it was that the chicken followed, bleeding. Now there’s discontent and its growing.

So I took a deep breath and a long look at my visitor, and told him, “Don’t expect your salvation to come from outside. Look inwards. Some of the sons of the soil sojourning outside do the little or much they can. Take it for whatever it is worth. As they are out, seeking their fortunes away from home, and their “Aguda (Catholic) does not feed under the Geesi (Anglican)” of your ‘Leader’, they may not really know, as you say. It’s you that is “on ground”, that feel and are “in it” who know “it is not good here”. You must persuade or defeat the “enemies of progress” in your midst. But can a Gulusu (slave/servant) and/or Alatenuje (sycophant) see the ‘laifi’ (fault) of his ‘olowo’ (master)?” Some have seen the light but are held down by perfidious others for the mess of porridge they get or hope for. They help to sustain and maintain the feudalistic status quo. They work against the people’s aspirations, interests and future to the benefit of the hegemony. “But the largest part of the work is still yours to do. When you are ready, you will do the needful and get the right leadership, the one you deserve. Good luck.” ”

Then I slowly extracted N2,000 from my wallet and pressed into his hands, watching him closely. “For transport”. I saw a bright gleam replace the hungry look in his eyes and spread into a broad smile on his face. “I am owed salaries for more than 4 months in my government work”. The dash will help for ‘tuwo’ (cornmeal) and ‘luru’ (a local soup) for his household. I felt pity and in turn happy for lifting up his spirits. Who knows when they last had a proper meal. They are mostly beggars now, living from hand to mouth. But “the ‘Leader’s’ gluttony must be satisfied”.

And that’s how the cookie crumbles in Sarakistan.